COMPETITION COMMENTARY:

“Write a poem or story, using LEAF as metaphor”

November 2007

First, some thoughts in general about the submissions:

I was generally very impressed with the entries.

To those who had the courage to enter: Good for you!

To those of you who didn’t get around to giving it a go, try next time.

I am busy dreaming up the next idea and you will get a chance to flex your imagination before the end of December.

I thought it may be useful if I share with you the criteria that I used for judging your stories.

In no order of importance these were:

Content I looked for depth in the story. Content does not necessarily relate to length but your story should be rich. Now as we have seen in some of the entries, this can be achieved by writing very little. In fact the art of good writing is to say as much as possible in as few words as possible.

I was compelled to judge on how well you used the leaf metaphor

I looked to be engaged. How well did your story capture my attention – or did I find myself thinking about my to do list?

I enjoy an element of surprise and this relates also to how well the story is crafted and how good a storyline you have. I am sure you will agree that some of the stories were brilliantly intricate.

Less interestingly but not unimportant I scored you on characterization and general use of grammar and spelling.

Now, specific comments about each entry:

Leaf of Detachment

This is a creative interpretation of the leaf metaphor. I enjoyed your leaf taking on human characteristics and emotions. I appreciated leaf going through some life dilemmas and asking searching questions

Your writing could be tighter. Be more economical with your word usage.

Well done!

Life

In a few short lines you managed to weave a good story that engaged my attention. I enjoyed your use of the leaf metaphor.

If anything detracted from your entry, it was that your title gave away your storyline which diluted the element of surprise by making the storyline predictable. It would have been good to have a little twist at the end.

Well done!

Turning over a New One

This is y far the outstanding winner of this competition.

The use of the leaf metaphor was brilliant and by far the best of all the entries.

I was captivated all the way through your story and sorry when it came to an end. This was mainly due to your excellent characterisation of Freda.

The little ‘toddler’ surprise at the end and the way in which it tied the whole story together with the nucleus of the unknown phone call, resulting in Freda’s new life was extremely well crafted.

Well done! – a deserved winner

An Eye for an Eye

Short poignant and engaging – a disturbing reminder of the realities of our country and its legacy.

The use of the leaf metaphor was weak

Keep writing. You are expressive and you cut to the chase very well.

Lucky visits the Mall

A good story with excellent characterisation. I felt I knew Temba and Lucky – they became very real.

The story engaged me by twisting and turning enough to hold my attention.

The leaf metaphor was weak and you should pay some attention to becoming more economical with your words.

Well done – keep writing

I will be posting the next competition shortly… an interesting one… hope many more Writescapes fans enter this one! Let’s see who gets a pleasant new year surprise.

Happy Writing!

Mandy