Candyfloss World

I am a Christian who happens to be gay in a country that is very far from home.   Being a foreign Christian in Taiwan is almost as socially-abnormal as being gay.   It can be quite a lonely existence being the only African gay Christian in the village, and so I recently tried joining other gay GLBT Christians online.  It was great for a while, but ultimately I just didn't enjoy it...it's just too hip, bumper-stickery, and pink and fluffy for me.  I also felt a little unwelcome, as a few of them assumed that I was sincerely pompous because my profile admits to the unforgivable crime of loving Handel operas and composing fugues.  The culture and attitudes were so American - kitsch by the gallon: smiley faces, icon-hugs, and all manner of horrible Newspeak that, in some strange way, almost felt...against human nature!  They did not "get" my camp pomposity - a style that is deeply shallow - and most talked about really petty issues that are about as life-altering as Queen Elizabeth adjusting her bloomers in public.  I'm sorry, but I like my Jesus to be a little richer than a sloganed T-shirt.  

I have since decided to do my spiritual growing on my own.  I know it's not the best solution, but oh, oh, oh - I just don't get along with the new hip theology.  I like my theologians in ivory towers surrounded by bronze telescopes, globes, and other Renaissance paraphernalia: ivory towers; not prefab soap-boxes!   The academics on the site that I chose reminded me of those new-age teachers...you know, the ones that say to their students: "Don't call me sir; just call me Bob."  I don't want my opinion to be tolerated!  I want to be corrected, admonished, and taught!  Some of the people I spoke to online were so open-minded that I thought their brains had fallen out.   How I long for my dear tutors in Africa.  Their directness terrified me!  and taught me so much.  Perhaps I'm just being stubborn; and maybe I'm just not ready to join the candyfloss fold; whatever the reason, I am not going back.  If I had stayed there any longer, I would have begun to mall-talk: "Like, you know, I think, like, I should, like, be a better, like, person, like - you know".   I would have also started sending huggy-hearts and dreadful smiley-faces to my friends...and that would be grounds for instant excommunication and banishment! 

I truly understand that there are those who use smiley faces, Newspeak, and other such devices with sincerity, but I can't help flinching and twitching with equally-sincere irritation and pain whenever I am accosted by the damn things. They ruin my day!   I even had a nightmare (I'm not kidding) about being unable to communicate with others except by holding up flash cards with little yellow circle-faces; but whenever I held one up, the person I was talking to held up a flashcard with the letters LOL.  It was awful.

The Internet can do very well without me.  I've even stopped building my website.  It's just not for me...no, no, no, and a million times plus infinity, no!  I'll just continue writing to my theologian friends in Africa, and waiting weeks and months for their replies.  It's worth the wait.  No more quick fixes for me.  I shall go down with the ship as the band plays on - an authentic band...no electronics!  Perhaps in a hundred years, a little submarine will find my pretty wreck, and exhume the old ways...just a little.

Craig Long

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Name	Comment	Date
James Tobias	Clearly there is no difference between a gay Christian missing his home and those of other persuasions - be it sexual, religious, genre or race. Flowed well Points 3 - Very promising piece of writing	2007-12-22
Mandy	Craig, this is a good piece of writing. Your introductory sentence drew me in and the piece ended on a high, very tight and poignant note. I found the logic / flow in the middle slightly confusing. It would be good if you could emulate the punch of the last paragraph there. Mandy PS Know all about feeling homesick. Also can relate to the (dare I say it) 'good old ways' Points 3 - Very promising piece of writing	2007-12-22
Louis Harris	Craig - I understand your frustration.  We are all given labels and it’s very difficult to shake it off.  Many people join groups because they have very little to do and don't enrich the group at all but these people might bring character with them.  Many mentors and tutors are untruthful because they don't tell it like it is and so they apply candyfloss, skim the surface and miss the relevant point. But one must also be aware that to learn or be taught, one must be prepared not to accept middle ground, and this goes for tutors and mentors too.  The attitude: "I'll be kind to him/her otherwise I fear the talent will be lost",  is just as bad as being subjective.  Being gay is a lifestyle, it has its own subcultures and these dictate how one communicates in gay society. You'll find your way I am sure.  We all do.  I enjoyed reading your "essay"?  Gremlins = only one - This sentence: Being a foreign Christian in Taiwan is almost as socially-abnormal as being gay. I gather the homophobic reference that gay people being socially abnormal relates to your experience in Taiwan, and not a generalisation.  To be gay, or straight, one needs to be proud of oneself. Respect Points 3 - Very promising piece of writing	2007-12-23
Craig Long	Sorry about the "socially abnormal" comment.  It was meant as a reference to homophobia in Taiwan.  I should have phrased it better.  PS  This "essay" was in fact a letter that I sent to a friend.  It is not about being homesick, but God-sick.  Home is where the Art is.  With love, Craig	2007-12-25