The Cousins are God

 

We had just finished mealie-meal porridge, three siblings and two cousins together, Lazola, Ayanda, Zizipho, Aphelele and I. Laz, Aphelele and I are the siblings and I'm the first born followed by my brother Laz and then her. Zizh and Ayas are our cousins. Laz and Ayas were both 18, Aphelele and Zish were both 16 and I was er 24. We were at home, our parent's home at Engojini village. One thing common about all of us is that we are all bastards, you know, all born out of wedlock. I suppose its some kind of a sin, which makes us one whopper of a sin together.


We were chatting about whole lot of things, and we each felt laziness consuming us, that feeling which follows a full dish of hot porridge in a hot summer morning. Laz had not eaten the porridge, he is very particular about what he eats. 'People change' so I thought to myself. I should also state here that Laz is the celebrity among us; known by everyone and anyone. He is also a believable fibber, you know, in a small talk sense. But he can be very easily broken in real episodes of life.


Zish (an often man-like behaving cousin of mine) was preparing to go to town on behalf of the cousins, to buy some last minute groceries for the little party planned for late that evening. It was New Year's Eve, and the cousins as led by Aphelele herself (who is considered the intellect by everyone) had had some fundraising spell (asking family grown ups for cash) in the past two days for this late-night-early-morning-year-end-year-start party. There was above two hundred rand collected and a secretly consolidated list, which Zish was to take with to town at about midday. Of course the list was drafted by her-intellect-self, Aphelele, the propagandress, and only sent for approval to the rest. Zish was in no rush, it seemed, "she never is" I recalled. So we sat chatting and chuckling carelessly as we normally do.


As I said, with no agenda on the table, everyone was striking their small talk with anyone and with no particular point to make. You could have heard loose talk about irritation at the new ANC president who punctuates his sentences by clearing his throat. "Lies" said one of the teens. It was said so funny that we broke into artless laughter which was punctuated with a lazy "whow" from Ayas. Himself, Ayas laughs a lot. He would laugh at the fact that we are laughing, and then turn to laugh at his laugh for our laughing. His laughter is the kind that accelerates, contagiously and then "whow" is his trademark full stop at every laughter. "We were just in a none-sense mood" I realize.


My cousins and siblings are all teenagers and I am twenty four, although I don't look like it, act like it, and feel like it. So I'm a kind of confused soul, since I am neither a child nor a real adult. Sometimes I'm caught in a childish act by elders, and they give me a "grow up already" kind of a look, which embarrasses me. Like being caught laughing at nothing with Ayas. This youth also looks at me as their pal and not exactly a grown up. For this reason, I don't think any of them wants to be like me when they are twenty four. I shave my beard clean, all, and mustache, to maintain my youthful appearance and to make room for the delaying maturity. I suppose you can't imagine a bearded twenty four year old chasing a ball (made of stockings) with girl-teens on the lawn.


So we relaxed and chat at the stools of our dining-turned-kitchen room.  


Making reference to Zish's trip to Whittlesea, we found ourselves listening to some biblical story-telling. Lazola, the usual suspect, started to narrate a story about a man called Jonah in the bible. "Apparently" Laz said "this man was impolitely awoken up by God to go to a city called Ninive, and preach the word in it". "Now" Laz said "we must imagine that Whittlesea is 'Ninive', that the cousins are 'God', and the list is 'the word' which Zizh 'Jonah' must buy 'preach'". Got that?


This was received with twitching laughter that sent me crying with amusement. For a moment everyone in the room jerked up and down with this cracker of a joke that my brother had made. I suppose it was fueled by the momentum of perpetual laughter. Otherwise, I doubt I would have found it so funny at any other given time. I mean, it's a known bible tale, an embarrassing one, with some lesson in it. But it didn't seem like Laz had any intent to use it for its day purpose.


After Ayas's "whow", Laz continued "Jonah woke and flee instead" he said "a stupid move he would live to regret".


I always look at Lazola with envy. He has this charm in him. He gets along with all kinds of people, young and old. "He is more respected than I am" I think. "He will be more successful than me" I continue to think. "And he gets everybody's attention at anytime" this I know. In this way, he overshadows me like I wasn't there. I mean, I love soccer, but I secretly had to stop playing for the village club "Two for Joy" because of the looming character of my brother. And he went on to become the star in the team, while I took refuge in education. Even so, he will become the school's prefect, while I will be remembered for wetting my pants at school. I feel inadequate in his presence, and everyone makes sure of this. For instance, one day my grandfather came back fuming with anger. "Effects of brandy" I thought. He wanted to kill Lazola's dog called Jet. "Themba and others alleges that this dog is having intercourse with loose women in this village" he thundered and spat a little spit aside but in the house. "In particular" he points outside "that woman called MaSukwini" he breathes and continues "such disgust" and he pauses. He gets up and says "I have made a decision to kill this dog at once" he said absolutely "we can't sit with this thing in our home, I swear in my mother's name, Nontsikelelo, the daughter of Xakath'ugaga".


The father has spoken!


"When he is in this state, no one can stand before him" I remembered. I stood there like a little boy -I felt like one- who is about to be whipped for lack of common sense by his uncle as he used to or be sent to catch that evil beast, Jet. My mother sent for Lazola speedily, but secretly, and my brother was at home in no time.


A stab on my ego! I mean, my mother overlooked me, literally.


"How can my dog be murdered in your presence" Lazola's look at me said. Nonetheless, I felt both relieved and brave when he got home. Everyone, bar grandfather, assembled while mother narrated the sad story of Jet's likely death to Lazola. "Thank God you are here Lazola, child of my child" said grandmother with tears.


Another stab on my ego!


In the mist of this oration, grandfather came in and I quickly found my seat, like a dog tucking its tail between its legs. Lazola, braved out in fury and said "this dog, here, is mine". My stomach turned into knots as he said that. "No one" he shook his hands in a manner of canceling "has authority on you but me" he said to the dog as it jumped up leaning on him, standing on two. We were all, bar grandfather, caught between relief and anxiety: relieved that he was protecting the dog, but scared as he continued to pretend to be talking to the dog while we knew he was speaking at grandfather. To cut a long story short, Jet is wagging his tail at home as we speak. The envy that I had then is the envy that I had on the day that he captured everybody's attention with Jonah's anecdote.


There was an atypical silence.


After which "God is watching" Laz sermonized "while Jonah boards a ship to Tharsis, instead of Ninive". "Now it will be important for you Zingane to avoid Jonah's test" he cautioned Zish "because what followed is that God sent turbulent winds in the sea to disturb the sailing". We were now listening to Preacher Laz with interest. What is striking is that this fellow, Lazola, is no particular Christian nor is he religious. "Frankly" I think "it's surprising that he recites a bible story with such exactness".. "It's in his character to surprise you, otherwise what were you always jealousy of" I counter-think.


The subsequent silence thickens even more.


"In lay terms" he says so matter-of-factly "God rocked the boat". Ayas was the only one laughing at this, at least doing so aloud. I also found it funny because Rock the boat is a title for a popular song of Alliyah's, whose video is nothing but a bunch of half-naked American girls on a paced-up little boat doing snake-like moves. There's nothing Godly about it. The song was now activated in my mind "rock, the boat; rock, the boat". So this was one of those rare moments where I was able to hold my urge to laugh. A certain faculty of my brains reminded me that that was not what God did when (according to Lazola) He rocked the Tharsis boat. So my mind drifted away from sexy girls at the beach and back to the troubled waters of the ocean. The new image of the Tharsis boat I envisioned was that of the sinking Titanic. "It's acceptable" I supposed.


There was no silence. Unfortunately! I lost Laz for a while. So, I furrowed my forehead and leaned forward trying to catch-up. I reminded myself to quietly search for any evidence in their faces which may have suggested that they had noticed my drift. This, too, resulted in more mind drift and I was concerned about missing out the jokes in-between. I suspect I have seizures of absent-mindedness in general. I listened further and caught him when he said "so the Tharsis crew searches the boat for what could be the cause of the turbulence" he said "and finds your friend, Jonah, fast asleep at the bottom of the ship" and he added "in hiding".


Ayas and I are laughing at "your friend". "Whow" he expectedly punctuates.
"Hey" Laz amplified his voice to a baritone and pushed his eye balls "who the hell are you?" he got back to his normal self and said "so the Tharsis ship crew enquired". "Your brother" Laz said "jumps up" Laz lifted both arms, befittingly, palms open at ninety degrees "and confesses to the crew" Laz's arms down "suggesting how it could be God admonishing him for his disobedience". Ayas's phone rings and he jumps to pick up but it stops before he gets to it. He giggles nervously and scrolls, and then smiles.. "Girlfriend" I thought. "But why so early in the morning." I drift. Laz cleared his throat to cancel the drift, and he continued "And Jonah did the honorable thing" Ayas found his seat and Laz continued "he asked the men to throw him at the sea so that the boat could sail smoothly". "When they did" Laz waved his hands as if pushing a big stone over "your brother was swallowed by er. the bible says "great fish", but I think shark" and he added "so the Tharsis crew sailed smoothly in calm seas again"


Other than being disturbed by Ayas and my own absent-mindedness, my eyes dwelled on my brother. His tough body, his childhood burn scar at the side of his face, no beard yet, brown eyes and he still bites his nails habitually, that is evident. I also catch myself thinking about how he resembles his father; the shape of his head, height and by the look of things politeness too. "Of my children, the passing away of the father was most felt by Lazola" I remember mother saying. "I also think people's remarks about the resemblance thing hurt him the most" she added with grief. "I feel lonely" my mind replays Lazola saying "and was thinking how things would've turned up had he still been alive" my thoughts evoked my own emotions by now. So I decided to drift back and listen to this emerging man as he maneuvered his point to Zizipho through the story of Jonah. "Imagine Jonah's shame" Laz said "when the shark spat him at the shores of Ninive, where, in fact God had sent him to at the first place". "Yoh, Yoh, Yoh" Ayas reacted in astonishment, and we knew, he only did so when he suspected we were being fed garbage. "What is that 'Yoh, Yoh. Yoh' Ayanda?" said a needless reproachful enquiry from Laz, which I think pierced Ayas, but himself had already registered his suspicion, and the matter was hung up at that.
But people looked upset.


Only eyes moved about.


There was a short-lived chuckle from Zish, which was met with a reprimanding glance, and then silence from Laz.


Tension ballooned within seconds.


The silence took long enough that Aphelele decided to get up to prepare for making dough. Zizipho, picked a basin to collect water so she can bath -if I can call wiping bath. Ayanda asked -no one in particular- about the correctness of our wall watch. In this time, I observe that Aphelele's eyes are decidedly heated. "She is protesting against Lazola's reprimand of both Zizipho and Ayanda" I conclude. Ayanda's question, in fact, is a way of calming her down. These two are friends amongst us. Zizipho, does not want to get involved, she always doesn't, so she storms out. Aphelele is not impressed with Lazola playing father to them, so she protests this silently. Ayanda seemed cool about it. By now, Lazola is holding a hand with another to help chew the last bit of nails left. I think he hates being misunderstood.


"So God sent the fish, I mean shark, to collect Jonah and post him where he was meant to?" I encourage him to finish. I'm also trying to broker some peace deal in the house. I am the only one who did not boycott the session. I think it's my duty, as a self-perceived adult here, to fix things up. I wait with fear of not being taken serious for someone to say something. "Ja, you see" Laz is back "and the Ninive crowd was waiting at the shores, and there." he pauses permanently with disinterest. Zizipho, comes in and seats and let her eyes satisfy her mind's curiosity. Ayanda goes out, but before he does, he glances at Lazola and "whow" he sighs with that sarcasm of victor. "Him and Aphelele have just ganged against Lazola successfully" I think. I am irritated by this sudden heatedness by the teens all the same. But it's always difficult to alter Aphelele's attitude on anything. "She is sophisticated, that my sister" I opt out. "So Zingane" I venture to conclude "you know where Whittlesea is, don't you, so don't be Jonah now, and you might not be so lucky with the sharks".


Zizipho chuckles away.


Lazola resigns into his bedroom, and throws himself facedown on the bed.
Intimidated by Aphelele's giant presence, I go out to my own room to find solace and sanity in Niq Mhlongo's Dog eat Dog. On my way to the other house where my room is, I meet grandfather. I greet and he grunts back. "For fuck's sake" is my grandfather's new swear word, I recall out of the blue. He says it like "Four Fax sake". I conclude that he learnt it from his drinking friend, the lawyer, Khandakhulu.


I see Jet.


He looks tired under the kraal's shade. I wonder what outrage has he been up to.
When I finally get to my room, my eyes are on the bible. I pick the red-lipped up to check the accuracy of the Jonah story. "It was only small talk, verifying it is cruelty" I think. I check it up anyway Jonah chapter 1 verse 1 and onwards, "Lazola was entirely correct" it dawns to me and I am satisfied. "Lazola's disbelievers need to see this" so is a mental note I make.


I finish Dog eat Dog.


I think about my cousins and siblings, imagining that the cousins are God as Lazola had asked of us. It's a blasphemous mental picture. But I can live with it.
It is there about that I took a nap.


And on the following night.


I press the light button on my watch and see that the time is 23h17. It is dark and scary outside our village house on the first day of 2008. The long awaited euphoria of a happy new year has died down already. My brother and I had had none of it. "We never will", I think. I've been leaning against the fence in front of the house whilst he adopted a half-seating-half-sleeping position on the stoep unswervingly behind me, thinking deeply about the end of his youth into unnatural adulthood, or possibly his life. Our house is a little dot at the end of a wide village engulfed by breast-shaped mountains. This is so that every car that comes down the hill-top from the direction of the city blasts its lights at the face of our home as it follows a gravel road that wounds our village. In my mind's eye, each spark of the car's light rays burns my brother's soul, each car that slowly goes past zips away at my brother's skin. To this, my brother promptly responds with a dull "Uhm" or "Yho" in-between the passing and flashing of each motor. At daylight, I had observed two unusually protruding blood vessels in his forehead down the nose, beating and thudding incurably. They're rooted in his forehead like goat horns. "He must have a deadly head-ache on top of the unavoidable emotional scarring", I think. At the sight of my watch's light he gusts "Uhm" once more. This sound, right here, is to me a hammering of a nail into a brother's heart. "One of these cars will make a turn into our village to collect my brother" I remind myself. It will be the police van. They will take him away, forever, and we both know this. At the anticipation of this, my eyes well up. I hold tears. "I must not cry", I tell myself. I look at him, he looks at me and our tears roll down at once, helplessly. I look away and swallow the lumps in my throat, "Uhm" my brother gusts, and a nail is further hammered into my heart. My brother has committed an action which he only realized when confronted that it was grossly against the law. "Given his age and the nature of this offence, he will rot in jail", I think. As if listening to my thought process "Yho, what did I do?" he asks no one in particular. I want to tell him "nothing" I want to say "you did nothing my brother" I want to continue and say "your intent was no crime" and I want to reassure him "I love you", but all I do is light the watch, and "Uhm" he responds. The time is 01h12 and the dew is soaking us as we wait. At the admission of his action, I advised him to tell only the truth and to not escape. I may have said "the truth will set you free", but I don't think he believed it, although he honored the requests. THEY had no knowledge that it was crime, he said; may be sin, but not crime. He regrets, deeply. He apologizes, sorely. He wishes it were a nightmare, it isn't, and we wait.


Today I'm a pathetic child clouded with both fear and blame for the captivity of my only brother as he leads an undreamed of life in prison for a crime he committed without intent. But intent is no question, crime is. And I never see my brother again.

 

Thando

 

 

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Name

Comment

Date

Mandy

This is an intricate story and I am afraid I got myself a bit lost. This is especially true of the first paragraph. Your first lines must grip the reader. I would like to suggest that you commence your story with the second paragraph where you have clearly found your rhythm, and fill us in with the family details later in the story. I think you must make the plot clearer for the reader

Points 2 - This writing needs a bit of editing and/or re-writing

2008-01-27

Louis

Thando - Both fiction and non-fiction must be compelling.  The beginning of the story is the most important.  It allows the reader the choice to stay or move on.  The secret to this first paragraph is to start from a point of action. I didn't get that in your first paragraph.  All very well, starting the story with sibling and relative ages, but does this compel/engage the reader?

Then there are several typo's that might be fixed like this:

and I was er 24.  Remove the er.

We were at home.village. The sentence could be shortened to read:  We were at our parents’ home in .

 

One thing common about. We all had one thing in common.


We were chatting about (insert an "a") whole lot of things, and we each (remove each - not necessary) felt laziness consuming us, that feeling which follows a full dish of hot porridge in (not in - rather on) a hot summer morning. Laz had not eaten the porridge; he is very particular about what he eats. 'People change' so  (remove so - not needed) I thought to myself. I should also state here that Laz is the celebrity among us; known by everyone and anyone. He is also a believable fibber, you know, in a small talk (spelling) sense. But he can be very easily broken in real episodes of life.

Zish (an often man-like behaving cousin of mine) was preparing to go to town on behalf of the cousins, to buy some (remove some) last minute groceries for the little (REMOVE LITTLE) party planned for late that evening.

This youth also looks at me as their (his) pal and not exactly a grown up. For this reason, I don't think any of them wants to be like me when they are twenty four. (twenty-four) I shave my beard clean, all, (all - not needed) and mustache, to maintain my youthful appearance and to make room for the delaying maturity.
Making reference to Zish's trip to Whittlesea, we found ourselves listening to some (remove some) biblical story-telling.

fueled (spelling) by the momentum of perpetual laughter.

I mean, it's a known bible tale, an embarrassing one, with some (remove some) lesson in it. But it didn't seem like Laz had any intent to use it for its day purpose.
.he thundered and spat a little spit aside but in the house. (spit repeats spat, remove spit) "In particular" he points outside

poor dog
no need to place thoughts in inverted commas 
Another stab on (at) my ego!
Lazola, braved out in fury and said (COMMA) "this (CAPITAL T) dog, here, is mine".
"No one" he shook his hands in a manner of cancelling "has authority on (OVER) you but me" (COMMA) he said to the dog as it jumped up leaning on him, standing on two.


I think you get my drift, Thando.

If you rewrite, and I must tell you that rewriting is the fun part of it, find what you really mean to say. Get it clear in your head, unify, organize and then get the best words and throw away the rest.  I know, editing is almost invariably manipulative, intrusive, artificial and compromising because it deals with cutting up, red pencilling, throwing away and rewriting.  And mostly throwing away. We all do this. But one needs to be vigilant, orderly, planned, and keep control, don't lose your head.

On the whole, I found it funny, but I didn't get the message because it was far too wordy.

 

1 Point - Difficult to "get into" - I did not follow what it was all about

2008-01-28

James

I did try to get past the telephone directory of the first paragraph. I won’t repeat what others have already offered you other than: take their advice!

Humour is perhaps the most difficult of the genres as it is even more important to have your target audience in mind.

Do yourself a favour and read Ndumiso Ngcobo's book "Some of my best friends are white." It is full of satire, humour and wit, besides being beautifully written.

A good few lessons in the art thereof.

But never give up or become despondent.

Point 1 - Difficult to "get into" - I did not follow what it was all about

2008-01-29

Ron

I agree with Mandy.
Start your story with a powerful line. i.e.: last line of 1st paragraph. "I suppose its some kind of a sin!" Now you've got me. What sin? And then don't tell us. Trim the whole piece and keep it concise.

Points 2 - This writing needs a bit of editing and/or re-writing

2008-01-30