freedom?

the wind wheres where it wills
and the free where they feel
but without shackles i still stand stoutly still
freedom then is not a play to act
but my dear reader a dream to live...

tiyo kakaza

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Name	Comment	Date
Lynette	Well done... A positively positive poem.	2007-11-05
Mandy	I have often deliberated about freedom myself This is a good poem	2007-11-10
Louis	I like short poems that get to the point in a single sweep.   I can't help but think that there's more to freedom than simply a dream for some.  We all know and understand that with freedom comes responsibility simply because (as you say), it cannot be an act to play.  I wonder about the "standing still" part; surely, if one has freedom, one also has the freedom to make change happen.  If one stands still, change will pass one by or not even happen at all. Your poem brought lengthy discussion to my dinner table.   As writers we should enable people to think about and discuss our work, you achieved this remarkably well. Thanks for this. Points 3 - Very promising piece of writing	2007-12-11
Ron	It stood the test of reading out loud. Enjoyed it. Made and conjured strange images. I think you should play with the spacing and placement of the lines so as to give the reader a better idea of how you want it read out loud. All poems are written for performance by the human voice. There is definite power in the words. Loved "shackles i still stand stoutly still" Points 2 - This writing needs a bit of editing and/or re-writing	2007-12-13
Ntombizonke Mehlomakulu	Captivating! Very short yet says something very deep, but I do not understand the first line "Wheres where" Points 3 - Very promising piece of writing	2008-01-03
James Tobias	Short and to the point. Your passion and determination is undoubted. Points 4 - Pretty close to perfect. I was captivated	2008-01-05