I dreamt of you last night

I dreamt of you last night.
I was surrounded by a mob of noises
and blinding lights.
Somehow, in the delirious hues,
I found your hand
and you pulled me towards you.
The rest of my night was lost in bliss.
When I awoke alone
I smiled, remembering your kiss.

Ahmad Desai

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Name	Comment	Date
Erna	Love the last two lines – they round off the poem so well, and allow me, the reader, to feel happy too. Not too sure about a mob of noises… image seems forced, doesn’t quite work. And the word delirious is also a bit uncomfortable, but it did not “jump out” at me on the first reading like the word mob. A poem, like a painting, needs harmony and unity. A word that is too strong jars the senses, and distracts your reader from the whole.	2007.01.24
Siyaduma	I love this piece. It captures the lifestyle of many today. I interpreted it as someone finding partner in a club and the rest being history and of course it's history! I love this piece. Points 4 - Pretty close to perfect. I was captivated	2008-02-14