Kindred Spirit

Unfathomed oceans of life
Exists a perfect synthesis.
A union of celestial bodies
Unexplainably linked within.

Souls fighting the currents
And battering waves of existence.
Murky waters disturbed by
The turmoil of daily survival.

The allure of mimicry
Scuttling endeavours of enlightenment.
Materialism corrupting virtues
Consumerism the new prophet.

Kindred spirit purifying
Dissolving reefs of self-preservation.
Revealing crystal clear reality
Within each mates soul.

James Tobias

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Name	Comment	Date
Ron	I really liked it. It made me re-read it several times. Please accept what I would have done with it if I'd been asked to perform it, i.e. recite it out loud. I've bracketed the words I feel should go. I've added an "s" and changed a couple of words. Kindred Spirit Unfathomed oceans of life (Exists) a perfect synthesis. A union (of) celestial (bodies) (Unexplainably) linked within. Souls fighting the currents And battering waves of (existence.) Murky waters (disturbed by) The (surf)turmoil of (daily) survival. The allure of mimicry Scuttling(s) (endeavours) of enlightenment. Materialism (kills)corrupting virtues Consumerism (born) the new prophet. (Kindred) spirit purifying (Dissolving) reefs of self-preservation. (Revealing) crystal clear reality (Within) each mates soul. My version: Unfathomed oceans of life A perfect synthesis A union celestial Linked within. Souls fighting currents And battering waves of Murky waters. The surf of survival. The allure of mimicry Scuttlings of enlightenment. Materialism corrupting virtues Consumerism born the prophet new. Spirit purifying Reefs of self-preservation. Crystal clear reality Each mates soul. (N.B.I have a great fear of drowning.)(Call, a beer?) Points 3 - Very promising piece of writing	2008-02-23