The Proverbial Menace, or ...GROAN!

"I can't stand that fellow!" shuddered  Minnie delicately, glancing at Herbert White as he sidled up to the water cooler in the corner. "He's so creepy."
"Don't be daft," laughed Ann. "He's shy, that's all. We should try to be nice to him. I feel quite sorry for the little guy- how would you like to be the only man in an office of twelve gorgeous women?"
"If he were normal, he'd be very happy. But has he ever even smiled at you?" Minnie was indignant. "When he started here last week I invited him to join us for lunch, but he point-blank refused.  He just sat down at a table by himself and ate a salad. Now what sort of man eats only salad for lunch?  He's weird."
Ann smiled to herself.  Minnie simply couldn't imagine any man refusing her invitation and with her big blue eyes and appealing little-girl manner she was seldom refused anything.
 Even Mrs. Wells, the office supervisor, seemed unable to be really cross with Minnie, no matter how often she arrived late for work..
Think of the devil.
"Are those Anderson reports ready yet, Miss Heinz?" Mrs Wells loomed up behind Minnie's shoulder.
"Almost, Mrs. Wells. I'll bring them through to your office in jus a seccie."
Minnie attacked her keyboard  and the discussion came to an end.

At lunch in the canteen the following day, Minnie waved to Anne and hissed urgently, "Over here!"
Bemused, Anne carried her tray to the little table and sat down.
"You will never guess!" whispered Minnie, her face red with the effort of giving her news the importance it deserved. "You know that awful Mr. White? He was round at my place last night!"
"Him? No!" Anne was shocked. "What did he want?"
"That's what's so weird.  Nothing! He just stood on the pavement opposite my flat and sort of peered up at me through those thick glasses of his."
"How do you know he was looking at you? Did you stand at the window or something?"
"No!" Minnie's voice rose in a controlled hysteria. "I think he caught the same bus as I did, but I didn't notice him. Then when I got into my flat I opened the windows for some fresh air and there he was, staring up."
"Did you wave to him?"
"Of course not! I just drew the curtains. But when I peeped out ten minutes later he was still there."
"Spooky." Anne considered something. "How long did he stay?"
"About an hour. I wanted to go to the corner shop but I couldn't - not while he was hanging around. And by the time the coast was clear, the shop was closed so I had no fresh milk this morning. Horrible man."
"So you've got an admirer. Be happy!"
"Oh, puh-leaze! " Minnie  grimaced. "I'm not that desperate. But what do you think I should do?"
"There's not much you can do. I mean, you don't even know if he was really interested in you. He might have been waiting for someone who lives in the same block and maybe they were late getting back from work." Anne's voice trailed off.
"Maybe." Minnie looked doubtful. "But it was a nasty feeling, that little man just standing there."
Anne noticed that the next time Minnie needed to walk past Mr. White's corner, she made a point of leaning against Laura's desk which was next to his, and starting a conversation with her.
"You should see Mike's muscles these days," she said loudly. "He's into body-building in a big way. Now he tells me he's taking up Taikwando as well!"
Minnie's boyfriend Mike was well known around the office, as were the details of their many fights and loving reconciliations.
"Martial arts, is it?" asked Laura, with one eye on what she was typing.
"Yes, the kind that can kill someone with one blow. If anyone tries to make a nuisance of himself, I'll just phone Mike and he'll be there in a flash." 
Minnie glared meaningfully at the top of Mr. White's head, bent low over his work.
"One chop from the side of his hand could break a man's neck!" she added for good measure.
Anne saw Mr. White flinch slightly and was sure he'd  got the message.


Apparently not. That evening, just as Anne was returning to her flat from a jog around the  park, the  phone rang. It was Minnie.
"He's here again!" she wailed. "I'm not imagining it! What can I do?"
"I'll come round right away," said Anne, "Meanwhile, don't do anything. Just stay there. I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for this."
Ten minutes later she approached  Minnie's block of flats. Sure enough, there was Mr White, standing perfectly still under a tree and gazing up to the second floor window of Minnie's flat. Was there was a suspicion of drool under his chin? It must be a trick of the light, she decided. . 
Anne thought it might be best to greet him casually, as if there were nothing unusual in finding him standing on a pavement across town from where he lived.
"Why, hello Mr. White! Fancy seeing you here, lurking in the shadows!"
The little man swung round in shock. 
"Er- good evening, Miss Stephens," he mumbled, red faced.
"Are you waiting for someone?"
"No, I -er- that is, yes. I am. Waiting for someone."
"Someone who lives in Beaumont Heights?"
"Yes."
"That's a funny coincidence, Minnie lives here too."
Mr. White looked as though he would like to be anywhere but under Anne's accusing   eye. 
"Really? I didn't know that. I mean, I've never thought to ask where she lived. I mean, I've never thought about her. At all."
"That's good. Her boyfriend hates her to even speak to another man, even a much older one like yourself. Well, good night, Mr. White, I'm popping in to Minnie's for coffee. Don't wait too long for your friend!"
Ann took the steps two at a time. She shrieked with laughter when Minnie opened her  door brandishing a kitchen knife.
"Did you think I was Mr. White?" she giggled. "Poor old thing. I gave him such a fright I don't think you'll see him again.
They peered out of the window and sure enough, Mr. White was walking rapidly back to the bus stop.
"Blame your fatal attraction," grinned Anne. "You, Minnie Heinz, make White lurk!"

Ginny Swart

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Name	Comment	Date
Louis	Ginny, this is a strong, carefully thought out piece with characters that are easy to identify with in the workplace.  The dialogue moves the story forward and is essential.  Although the piece struck me not so much as humour but as suspense, or even mystery.   A good, flowing read.  Gremlins = perhaps I longed for a better ending so the piece could be longer, I felt the last sentence although it is dialogue, didn't explain his actions and left me in the air.  Otherwise, a great read. Respect Points 3 - Very promising piece of writing	2007-12-15
James Tobias	I enjoyed the piece - the ladies interaction. I found the conversation stilted in places. eg "Why, hello Mr. White! Fancy seeing you here, lurking in the shadows!" "That's a funny coincidence.... It seems its written to get a point across to the reader rather trhan being true to the character. I could be wrong and that is how the person speaks. I would also watch unnecessary adjectives as well. Words like indignant, bemused, shocked, loomed,sidled, take away from the story rather than add to it. The reader will add those in themself. Points 3 - Very promising piece of writing	2007-12-16
Mandy	Ginny, I enjoyed the story immensely. I also felt the characters were most credible and the office chatter very real. I can just picture them over the office divide. I must say I was hoping for a twist in the tail - was slightly disappointed by the ending. You have spoilt us! Points 3 - Very promising piece of writing	2007-12-18