A glimpse of beauty through music

 
Music is a phantom that feeds on all vile emotion and leaves a feeling of serenity to what seemed impossible to purge. Music is a chill that enables a peaceful departure of  the most retched of souls music numbs the body , the mind and the soul of its wrongs and delivers it to its creator as it first was from its day of birth as a new born baby who is innocent in the eyes of its parents .It possesses no shape, no one could testify to have seen this commissioner of beauty, the separator of segregation, the rebellion that brings nations together. Music you were there when I wake up, your there when I cry, your there when I die. It soothes the pain of any ache no matter how deep it may go into the human psyche it casts all the horrors one experiences and blows them into the upper levels of the thermosphere vortexing at great speeds that make it easier to forget your pain.


These words that define this mans' whole being that twirl and whirl consciously through his fingers and unconsciously through his movements sat in a dark corner sobbing silently as if he was snickering but did not want to give himself away to a quiet crowd something beyond him had crippled his ability to talk, he sat in front of a window facing the wall shunning the spectacular view of the concrete jungle that he is but a minute part of, his view concentrated on this light cast on the wall by the many varieties of light that are akin to a big city in his hands a violin , In his eyes a playback of what horrors a mind can founder. It was as if he was watching a movie on a projected screen his music the soundtrack to this modern day tragedy being rein- acted on the wall and he with a front row seat to the whole performance


It all started a week ago on a cloudy Wednesday when people make excuses not to go to work, in the inner city, in parts of the city that are thought  to be in turmoil and destruction but not knowing the beauty concealed behind the aging visage of apartheid architecture , he sat gazing at the outside world: people in a rush to where god only knows playing or perhaps creating his music that mended any loose connection between his divine trinity One without the other was not possible , a flow of coherence had to continually be restored as unexpectedly as day come so it was for him turning to the door to find an admirer  Listening or perhaps taking a glimpse of this beauty that resembles her face taken salve  be the many chords ,clefs and other notes this stranger is playing but as suddenly as she appeared , She disappeared as quickly Into crowd as if a prey scurrying from a predator with camouflage on its side that's what he felt when he got to the door nothing of a trace or a scent of her could be seen or heard

 

Music could bring the most peculiar of beauties to your doorstep he thought to himself as he returned to his stool, black in colour on a wooden vanished floor but this time he could not play his body numb, his soul missing taken ransom by this elusive stranger who is swift in her steps . The more he thought about her the more the more he wondered what had prompted her to stop and appreciate his confession about his heartache it must have been coincidence but in the real world coincidence is a rarity the day came rushing to an end . He  locked up the store as safely as could be and was on his way to the taxi terminal one thing he could not get out of his mind was the peeping tom who had been spying on him earlier but another thing he always notices about big cities in South Africa is that as you approach the public transport hubs the density of people per m2  increases greatly by number until you stumble upon a great number of people of colour and the occasional coloured and Muslims who own shops around the terminals . you could never get lost all you needed to do was walk in the direction most people were heading , as this was occupying his mind a blemished red mini bus pulled up about to turn left paused for oncoming traffic as he moves towards the rare of it corner window there he sees her, he pauses . 

 

It seemed strange to her too , to see this maestro she had heard play in lower part of town hours ago, she said Hi but as soon as the words left her mouth the taxi pulled away for a while his mind kept spinning even though no else would noticed , his legs kept walking straight until he found the right terminal for him to get to his destination(home), it was Empty ,he stood a while outside lit a smoke exhaled slowly with the expression of relief on his face he did this  a couple of times the feeling got old, he gave the smoke to the plump terminal Conductor and than entered the taxi after he had got in, it was as if he had opened The flood gates the taxi was filled in no time and it was on its way. When he got home it was dark, made some food and was off to bed fatigue had befriended him and that was it Of the Day.


He woke up slightly before dawn switched on the lights gazed at the sunrise, there was nothing more beautiful than to see it pierce the dark, to him the penumbra created at dusk and dawn was something irreplaceable a pleasure that very few people in their lives Experience. He got on with his daily duties had breakfast dressed had a smoke and was on his way ,it was a new day and with him from the previous day he had brought  the thought of this lady like a burden but for him it was a burden worth bearing this thought Entertained him for the entire duration of his trip until he had to start working at his passion ,only it purged him of his evil thoughts , only it made him as innocent as a baby born minutes ago it gave meaning to his life he kept playing until a trance of A-minors, G-minors had taken him as prisoner: it was this bondage that a creative man would idolise that it gave his mind this command to commission  beauty usually prison is a place synonymous with violence but his was worth being Ideolized.Than suddenly he was startled by a banging sound as he turned to see who it was, his eyes were  met by yesterdays beauty She looked at him said sorry and was out of sight before he could acquaint himself with her He wondered to himself what was that supposed to mean but none the less the day continued on its harmonious-perennial flow his music whispering compliments that would Make any person blush .


The scurry of a people of colour to get home displays the notion that work is a monotony That people loath but a paradox because they work towards it their whole lives this is a notion that can be observed globally from the barren deserts of sub-Saharan Africa to deep industrial Europe . As time strawls  so does he going from clean build up C.B.D to debris infested streets of a old building of a slightly eroded rustic face brick jutting high into the air but The decay of the inner city does not take away his delight away: his mind Rushing with Thoughts of this beauty who seems always to be in a rush, as if this rush was part of her Daily activity without it she would feel empty or as if small pieces of herself and were Shredded into fractions she not knowing which one belongs where . His thoughts fill his Apartment as  if a dense Blanket that makes one sweat incredibly as if its a scorching day Images of her running all across the Brick walls it was as if he was losing himself  in her ,she Taking over his being , she substituting the creeds of the breathern and all its delight .Replacing it with her immaculate spirit towering higher than many skyscrapers you could see her from miles away , you could feel her warmth ,Amerilia mia moa my fair one Why art thou so fair .The music enchanting a spell over him as he retires to sleep witnessing a glimpse of beauty through music.


Waking up  to a room to a room scorching red with traces of orange proclaiming another day has begun and in no time he finds himself in the same position as the previous day the monotony of life could get to anyone but the difference would be within the monotony of A  job if you have love in the midst of your job than the monotony metamorphose into an Adventure he grabs his violin places it under his chin chest takes his bow and lets it intercourse with the strings , it is amazement that catches his mind by surprise every time he Plays it is as if he is unconscious of his talent when his not playing but amidst the adventure in-twined in the  monotony ,like life knew he needed a bit of excitement in his subjective life in comes this women running screaming Help! Help! A shriek in a her voice as if war Has just broken out, behind her in comes this tall light-skin figure who has this intimidating personae about him, in a cheap Italian three piece-suit lets a bullet fly from his 9mm parabelum-black cold hard shaped steal -the bullet aiming straight for her breast as if it knew that her life Line was concealed by mere flesh and bone it was as a conclusion that men was created Easily and hence can also be killed with the same simplicity , the sound was piercing to the Ear as she goes down in his arms the opposite man leaves as he exists he says to him Let this B**** die !! Amerilia as she begins to fade he says what is your name Nomvula she Replies in a very frail voice, she blinked twice each time it getting more and more tedious To keep them open the third time was as if a gate way to the nether world and she was Gone without a trace without a soul to mourn her passing ,who was she , what was her Life filled with While he thought about this a tear drop onto her face a smile came onto Her face as Thanking him for showing the least bit of affection for her as she passes Through a penumbra into the unknown            
He sat staring at the wall his music the sound track to this tragedy of Amerilia, Nomvula as he sits staring at the wall. He hears this knock on the door as he opens he is met with the Words your under arrest for the murder of Nomvula!!!

Afterword 


Music was created out of beauty for beauty for it to be admired that, amongst the greatest Of triumph, the most horrific of days music was there to exaggerate the joy or numb morbid Feelings Amidst the death, poverty, famine and decay modern men inflicts on his common Situation Music relates beyond class ,race or religion something that its universality is incomparable with nothing else but consumables but those are nature's fruit , while music was men's attempt to create his own fruits that will appeal to every situation that life at the time revolved around till this present day .Its appeal is not lost because its relative to the common men in the township as well as the highest order of aristocracy all have different Tastes but its common for all to have a genre that is most appealing to their situation Hence music is a glimpse of beauty for modern men who is plagued by one horror after Another.

 

Kekeletso Molebatsi

 

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Louis Harris

Kekeletso, your work is rich and strong and in time I know will become as perfect as the subjects you write about. In the following extract I found the following gremlins. I would like you to take note of these because this piece is a good monologue but can be made brilliant in its execution.

1.  Watch those long sentences. They need to be broken up.

2. Watch the spacing of commas between words.

3. Contractions: your when it should be you're

4 Watch against jumping from one sentence or clause structure to the next without placing a comma or full stop. 

 

Here’s what I mean:

2007-12-25

Music is a phantom that feeds on all vile emotion and leaves a feeling of serenity to what seemed impossible to purge. Music is a chill that enables a peaceful departure of the most retched (spelling: wretched) of souls (Place a full stop here and begin next sentence with a Cap M) music numbs the body ,  (spaces need correction) the mind and the soul of its wrongs and delivers it to its creator as it first was from its day of birth as a new born baby who is innocent in the eyes of its parents . (The sentence is too long) It possesses no shape, no one could testify to have seen this commissioner of beauty, the separator of segregation, the rebellion that brings nations together. Music you were there when I wake up, your (You are) there when I cry, your (you are) there when I die. It soothes the pain of any ache no matter how deep it may go into the human psyche (full stop) it casts all the horrors one experiences and blows them into the upper levels of the thermosphere vortexing at great speeds that make it easier to forget your pain.

These words that define this mans'(man's) whole being that twirl and whirl consciously through his fingers and unconsciously through his movements (Fullstop. Begin here with the word He) sat in a dark corner sobbing silently as if he was snickering (why repeat sobbing by using the word snickering, just sobbing will do) but did not want to give himself away to a quiet crowd (comma) something beyond him had crippled his ability to talk, he sat in front of a window facing the wall shunning the spectacular view of the concrete jungle (sentence needs restructuring)  that he is but a minute part of, his view concentrated on this light cast on the wall by the many varieties of light that are akin to a big city (Full stop) in his hands a violin , ...

 

Kekeletso - stream of consciousness writing is not a bad thing.  In fact, I write like this sometimes.  It seems to me that your words tend to run away from you because of your excitement to get the story told.  This is not a bad thing, but you will need to watch those little things I have mentioned.  I would dearly love to see more of your writing as I do believe you have something to say. 

Respect

points 2 - This writing needs a bit of editing and/or re-writing

James Tobias

Louis is 100% right in all his observations.

It is critical that you iron out all your errors and typos before submitting. You may not catch all of them, but the effort must be there.

Creating prose is the easiest part of writing as we ride the waves of imagination.
What turns the creation into reality for others is the attention to the technical aspects of the craft.

 

The only way to get around that is to study English in its purist form.
The fact that for many English may not be their mother tongue is irrelevant.

Don’t be discouraged. Heed advice and keep writing.
 
Points 2 - This writing needs a bit of editing and/or re-writing

2007-12-26

Mandy

Thank you for submitting this piece, Kekeletso. I agree with a lot of what Louis has said. I would also suggest that you pay some attention to the use of words. Please read the piece and consider it word for word, making sure that every single word has a role and purpose.


You have a good story line - you now need to craft the story.


Can I also suggest that if your story had started with "It all started a week ago on a cloudy Wednesday..." it would have grabbed my attention? I do not feel your philosophical musing go well with the storyline - perhaps consider leaving that out and keeping to your story line, which is good.


I look forward to seeing your next rendition


Points 2 - This writing needs a bit of editing and/or re-writing

2007-12-26